


Need You Now

by mayghaen17



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Best Friends, Canon Compliant, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Harmony - Freeform, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Hurt/Comfort, That damn tent scene, first time lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:47:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25018744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayghaen17/pseuds/mayghaen17
Summary: She loved them both, but in different ways. They were her best friends; her only friends. It's how Harry knows what she needs. It just isn't until afterwards that she realizes he needed her too.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley - implied, Harry Potter/Hermione Granger, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley - implied
Comments: 6
Kudos: 149





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my head canon for what happened in DH part 1...you know the scene. In all of my stories that I allude to it happening, chapter one is what I imagine. Chapter two is just a bonus because the muse wouldn't leave me alone.
> 
> Alpha love to honeysweetcutie / forever unbeta'd
> 
> Feel free to join my FB group if you want to connect more with me: madrose_writing
> 
> *Some bits of the dialogue were taken directly from the movies*

_"Stop!" Hermione reached for whoever she could get in her effort to break them apart. Tears clouded her vision as her fingers curled around someone's shirt and tugged. "Please. Don't…"_

_The tussle was over as quickly as it had begun. Harry's words made her stomach churn. "Fine, you want to go? Go!"_

_Hermione watched as Ron stared at him for a moment and then hurried to remove the locket from around his neck. He tossed it to the side and leaned down to grab his bag. Once it was slung over his shoulder, he moved towards the flap of the tent and turned to look at Hermione. "And you. Are you coming or staying?"_

_Hermione's breath hitched as her panic rose. She turned to look between Harry behind her and Ron in front of her. She wasn't leaving Harry; their quest was too important, but she didn't want Ron to go either._

_Ron took a deep breath and shrugged, his eyes flickering to Harry before settling back on her. "Fine, I get it. I saw you two the other night."_

_A tear fell from her right eye as she shook her head. "Ron that's… That's nothing."_

And it was nothing.

Harry was her best friend as much as Ron was. She loved them both, equally, but in different ways.

Hermione knew it was the dark magic of the Horcrux that made him leave, but all it did was intensify what someone was already feeling. She could understand Ron's jealousy though. She was closer to Harry than to Ron; he understood her better. She could talk to him about anything. It didn't help that things had been tense between her and Ron for some time now. A blame she would never pin solely on him.

As she sat on the step in the tent with her arms around her knees, staring at the lantern, she couldn't help but feel the guilt. Even the weeks that had passed since he left had done nothing to lessen it. Ron had offered her a choice and she had chosen Harry. No matter how much she justified it as choosing him for the greater good, she knew the chasm between her and Ron might be too big to ever come back from.

She caught movement from the corner of her eye and did a double take to see Harry approaching. His hand stretched out to her by the time he stopped in front of her. She stared up at him, curiosity furrowing her brow, but she took his hand and then the other, and let him pull her to her feet. Standing before him, she stayed still, watching him as he reached behind her and unclasped the chain of the locket. He set it down on the table next to the lantern, and pulled her to the middle of the tent.

She shook her head at him as Harry started to dance, never letting go of her hands. He simply cracked a smile and continued to dance. It was only a few beats before she smiled and went with it. Soon, he was spinning her and moving freely about the room. For a moment, all of her troubles seemed to fade away. But as he pulled her close and her chin rested on his shoulder, the guilt found its way back in.

Hermione tightened her hold at the same time he did. The moment stretched on, going far beyond their normal comfort. When Harry began to pull back, it was slow. The air shifted around them and there was hesitation from them both. Hermione gasped quietly as he began to move back in, tipping his head slightly to one side. She reared her head back, staring at him in question, but he never pulled away. After a moment, she swallowed hard, and leaned in, closing the distance between them.

The kiss was slow and sweet. They were quick to part their lips for one another, but each stroke of their tongues together was meant to savor, not devour.

This wasn't a kiss like any other. The ones she had shared with Krum had been simple. Just lips pressed to lips. Small pecks of affection because she was too young, too scared to take it further. The few she had had with Cormac were the opposite. Sloppy, hungry, desperate for more.

With Harry, it was a combination of the two. While it stoked an unfamiliar fire low in her abdomen, there was no sense of urgency. She was content on breathing his air and feeling his arms wrapped around her. But as his lips continued to tug at hers, she realized she needed this; needed him.

Needed more.

It was clear he had come to the same conclusion when his arms loosened around her so that his hands could settle at her waist. His fingers curled the hem of her jumper and she gasped into his mouth as his they brushed her bare skin beneath. He simply held onto the fabric until she gave permission with a brisk nod of her head. Slowly, he tugged it upwards, pulling until she had to break the kiss in order for it to be removed fully. She shivered as the chilly night air hit her exposed skin only to shiver again when his hands returned to warm her skin.

They didn't resume their kiss. Instead, their gazes locked as she reached for his shirt. He watched her as she lifted it over his head and let it fall to the floor with hers. When they were just down to their undergarments, Harry's hand found hers. With a simple press of his lips to hers, he stepped back, drawing her with him.

There was no hesitation when she followed. They ascended the small set of stairs and stopped only when they reached his cot. He pulled her closer and slanted his lips over hers. Resuming the slow burn of a kiss from earlier, she shuddered when his hands wound around her back to undo the clasp of her bra. As it fell to the floor, his hands smoothed over her skin until she could feel them beneath her breasts. She moaned softly into his mouth as his thumbs brushed over her nipples, the skin pebbling almost immediately.

But his touch was short lived and she was surprised by the whine that left her throat when he pulled away.

His smile was soft as took hold of her hands again and she followed his lead. She sat on the edge of the bed and then moved up so her head was on the pillows. She propped herself up on her elbows as and held his gaze as he pushed his boxers from his hips and stepped out of them. For a brief moment, curiosity got the best of her and her gaze flickered south, taking in the sight of him standing proud. He was hard and weeping already. The sight made her swallow hard and she took a deep breath as she met his gaze once more.

He held it as he knelt one knee on the bed. Her breath hitched and she dragged her bottom lip between her teeth has his fingers hooked around the band of her knickers. He tugged at them before slowly dragging them down her legs. She kept her knees bent with her feet planted on the bed. Harry leaned in and pressed a kiss atop both of them as his hand crept down the crevice of her thighs.

Her lashes fluttered against her cheeks as his fingers brushed over her core. Harry continued to watch her as he slipped one finger between her folds. Heat flamed her face at the noise it made when he found her wet center. She whimpered and closed her eyes fully as he collected some of the moisture onto his finger and dragged it up to her clit. Her body both relaxed and tightened at the same time, her thighs parting a fraction to give him better access to her.

After a moment, his touch was less experimental and more determined. The longer he touched her, the more her legs parted. As he came to kneel between her legs, he had found a rhythm that elicited the most reaction and added to it by pressing a finger into her. Her elbows came out from under her as she settled back among the pillows again. It was all too much, yet not enough. He added another finger and the moan that followed was deafening.

It wasn't long before her fingers were gripping the sheets so tight her knuckles turned white. Her head was grinding against the pillows as her body arched off the bed. Her hips moved in time to his ministrations and before she could even fully understand what was happening, she was crying out for him. A tidal wave rolled through her body, making her quake and quiver from head to toe.

When it was over, she opened eyes she hadn't realized were closed and stared up at Harry through the pleasant haze of her mind. She was panting for air as he slowed his movements and finally withdrew his touch altogether. The whine of protest was quickly replaced by a moan as he crawled over her, his weight pressing her down further into the cot.

She felt him twitch against her wet center as he settled and leaned in to capture her lips. Hermione reached down between them to grasp him, shivering at the way groaned into her mouth and thrust against her palm. She stroked his skin using the moisture collected from the tip to glide over his already velvety skin.

When he broke the kiss, his hand stole down to replace hers. She moved her hand to his shoulder to brace herself, moaning as he coated himself in her slick. He rested his forehead to hers, holding her gaze as he lined himself up at her entrance. With a nod from her, he moved forward, easing himself all the way inside of her.

Her nails dug into his shoulder as she gasped at the pain their union caused. He stilled once full seated and waited for her to adjust. She nodded beneath him and moaned as he pulled back just to push forward and fill her again. The more he repeated the action, the less it hurt. The pain was there throughout, but it was nothing more than a dull, throbbing ache.

Her legs clamped around his hips as she angled her hips to take him deeper. They both cried out from the action, but it spurred Harry to pick up the pace. His cheek slid against hers, enabling them both to mutter incoherently in the other's ear. Their moans were as in sync as the rest of their actions and it wasn't long before she was fully keening beneath him. That same sensation of falling into a void she'd experienced before was returning. Knowing what it would do for the ache in her soul, she welcomed it with open arms.

When she came, it was harder than the first one. Her body bowed off the bed, smacking against his. She could feel herself tightening around him, squeezing as if intent to keep him there and never let go. She knew that's what pushed him over the edge as he grunted her name. His hips stuttered and then he was still as he filled her with more than just his body.

He collapsed on top of her. He buried his face in the crook of her neck as her hands idly stroked his back. Her legs were still cradled around him though they trembled something fierce. As their breathing began to regulate, the reality settled in. Tears leaked from the corners of her eyes and fell back into her hair. But it wasn't long before she felt his tears wet her skin too.

It wasn't the guilt that made them weep. It was for the innocence lost. For their childhood having been stolen. For ever having been put in this situation where they were so desperate for comfort and so alone that they could only find it in each other.

But of all things, she was glad her first time had been with someone she loved. And after a brief kiss, Harry lifted his head and Hermione saw that he was thinking the same. They shared a smile before he pulled away from her completely, getting to his feet. She followed suit, choosing to head for the loo, picking up her clothes as she went.

She took her time cleaning up. There was a long stretch of time where she stared at herself in the mirror, wondering if people would see her differently now. If they would _know_. She didn't regret it. She decided that much as she slowly redressed. Even if the circumstances were different, she would never regret sharing this part of herself with Harry.

The ache between her thighs was strange, but welcomed as she vacated the loo. She paused upon finding herself alone. Summoning a blanket, she exited the tent. Harry sat in their usual spot when taking turns watching the perimeter. He had brought a lantern out with him to combat the darkness of the night. Even from where she stood she could see him shake despite his clothes and knew it wasn't just from the cold.

She approached him, careful to avoid tripping on anything lurking under the piles of leaves. He stared up at her as she sank down to the ground beside him and fluffed the blanket out. She wrapped it around both of them and curled into his side. His arm slid along her back to hold her close as it so often did when they sat like this. She laid her head on his shoulder and let her arm stretch out around his waist. They both relaxed into one another, both glad that the silence was comfortable and not awkward.

Hermione had needed him. Needed him in a way she didn't even know was possible and he had been there for her. It wasn't until they sat outside that she realized Harry had needed her too. And as the night wore on and slowly turned to day, it was clear that nothing would change between them. All it did was bring them closer and when she lifted her head to catch his gaze, it went unspoken that should they need each other again, they would be right there for one another.

Always.


	2. Chapter 2

_"Are you mad?"_

_Hermione's step faltered for a moment. Her chest tightened with fear as she watched Ron and Harry continue on._

_"You can't give yourself up to him."_

_She stopped at Ron's side, gently laying her hand on her forearm as she watched Harry stop on a landing before them. With Ron not moving forward, she took a few extra steps. "What is it, Harry?" She knew he would go to the forest the moment the Dark Lord had made the request, but she felt it in her gut there was more to the story. More to the reason Harry would choose to turn himself in. "What is it you know?"_

_There was a few seconds where time stood still before Harry turned to face her. "There's a reason I can hear them," he started. "The Horcruxes. I think I've known for awhile." Tears pricked at her eyes as he gave her that look; the one that he always gave when she was right about something. "And I think you have to."_

_Her sob was more of a gasp; not one of surprise, but one of regret. As much as she loved being correct, she had never wanted to be right about this. "I'll go with you." It was a beg, a plea, a cry; anything to make sure she didn't let him out of her side._

_His answer was quick. "No. Kill the snake." His gaze flickered over her to Ron. "Kill the snake and then it's just him."_

_She was moving. The few steps she took felt like they might be her last. She threw her arms around him and held tight, sobbing quietly as he did the same. "I love you," she whispered, her breath shaky as she tried to contain her tears._

_"I love you too," he said, his voice equally quiet._

_Whether it was because of their friendship or something more, it didn't matter. It was true. He needed to hear it just as much as she needed to say it. If things went badly…_

_Their embrace lasted for eternity, yet ended far too soon. He was the one to pull away, pushing at her when she held on tighter. Just like that first night and all the others, there was a moment of hesitation. A moment where they had to decide._

_But now wasn't the time for that. She wasn't sure if it ever would be again._

_Another sob tore from her throat as he withdrew from her hold and turned walked away without a word to either of them. She could feel Ron at her side, his hand on the small of her back for comfort. There had been so much loss already, but losing Harry wouldn't be something she could ever recover from._

_As she turned to look at Ron, he disappeared. Instead, they were in the courtyard watching the Death Eater's approach. Some of them had Hagrid in chains and were leading him forward like an animal. But that wasn't what disturbed her the most. It was the fact that his arms were raised. That he was carrying something._ Someone _._

_And as the Dark Lord made his announcement, it felt as if the breath had been sucked from her lungs and the ground pulled out from beneath her feet._

_"Harry Potter is dead!"_

* * *

Hermione woke with a gasp, her entire body seizing with fear. A sob escaped her as tears streamed down her face. She fought to move, but something tightened around her, preventing her from doing so. The panic surged again and just as she opened her mouth to scream for help, she heard it.

"I'm here, Hermione. It was a dream."

It took several minutes for her breathing to regulate and reality to come crashing back down. They weren't in the tent in some forest behind wards. They weren't in the castle while destruction rained down around them. They were at Grimmauld in Sirius' old room. Harry hadn't been dead; he'd been pretending. And now his body was cradled to hers and it was his arms around her, holding her tight.

She turned to face him, her hand rising up to cup his face. "It wasn't a dream, Harry. It was real."

"Was," he agreed. "It's over now."

It didn't feel over. Not really. It had only been a few weeks since the Battle of Hogwarts. A few weeks of interviews, conferences, and funerals. The only time they were ever even remotely capable of letting it all sink in was when they returned to Grimmauld. When it was just the two of them.

They had tried to stay at the Burrow, but there were too many people. Too much commotion. Too many people sobbing in their grief. In an unspoken conversation, the two had decided it wasn't the place for them. The Weasley's would always be their family, but they needed time to grieve for their losses on their own. And Hermione needed Harry just as much as he needed her.

At first they had taken separate rooms. She had slept the first night simply because she was too exhausted to remember to breathe let alone fight off sleep. The next few nights she had just lay awake, staring at the ceiling. It had been nearly a year since she'd had a room that she could close the door to. Nearly a year since having something that was just hers. Only, it wasn't hers. Just like everything else, this was temporary too.

They kept finding themselves awake in the living room. They would huddle together on the couch. She nearly always fell asleep the moment her head touched his shoulder. They hadn't been staying at Grimmauld for a full week before she stole into his room early instead of waiting to find him downstairs. He had just watched her as she crossed the distance to the bed and curled into him. Every night after that she would open his door to find him waiting for her with the covers peeled back. Every night she would fall asleep with him behind her and his arms holding her flush to him.

"You died."

"I had to."

They had had this argument almost every day since the first morning she'd woken up in his bed. The nightmares were intermittent, but the memories were always there, lingering just beneath the surface. Even when it was his cries that woke her up, the argument always occurred and it always ended the same.

"I had to," he repeated.

Maybe one day she would let it go; understand the truth of his words. But that day was far into the future.

"You came back." Her words were always more of a reassurance to herself. Sometimes seeing or touching him wasn't enough. Sometimes she had to do both just to make sure it wasn't a dream.

"I needed you."

She cupped his jaw and moved forward a little so that they could rest their foreheads against one another's. "Ron wants to talk about us," she breathed. "About him and I."

"So does Ginny."

Hermione took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Neither one of them had talked about it. All the times their unspoken need had pushed them together. Many a time she had found herself beneath him on the cot. Every time it was harder to pretend there wasn't something between them. The closeness they had developed remained, but their physical connection was severed the moment Ron returned.

Even after all the nights they had spent sharing a bed at Grimmauld, their need for one another hadn't escalated beyond sleeping next to one another. The few times she had to be away from him felt like agony and she could tell the moment he returned that he felt the same.

"What should we tell them?"

"What do you _want_ to tell them?" he countered.

A small puff of air left her lips as her hand slid back to push his unruly hair from his face. "I don't want to be with him," she said. It was the first time she had admitted it out loud. It was odd; the weight that lifted from her once the words were said. She had loved Ron, or thought she had, for so long that to only love him as a friend was surreal.

"I don't want to be with her."

The corners of her lips twitched and she nodded. They hadn't been together long and most of it had been right before they went on the run. On his end, Harry had only just realized Ginny was more than his friend's sister. Much like Ron had only _just_ started seeing her as more than a friend.

"They're going to hate us."

"Maybe for awhile, but not forever."

"Ron left us, Harry," she reminded him, pulling away enough so she could push herself up and stared down at him. His elbow bent behind her, his hand coming up to rest on her back. "He left _because_ of us."

"It wasn't like we planned this, Hermione."

"I know, but-"

"Do you regret it?"

His words caught her off guard and she paused with her mouth still open from the sentence she had been about to finish. Slowly, her lips pressed together and turned down, eyes narrowing at him in the process. "No."

"Neither do I," he declared and smiled as her gaze softened. His other hand reached up to cup her cheek, his thumb brushing away tears she hadn't known were there. "You're the only one who will ever truly understand what happened. The only one who will ever understand _me_. First and foremost, you'll always be my best friend and I want nothing more than to see you happy. Even if it's not with me. I'll always love you. I want-" he paused to shake his head, "no, I _need_ you to make whatever decision is best for you."

After a moment of just staring at him with wide eyes, Harry moved so he could lean up and kiss her temple before moving, but she grabbed hold of him before he could get up. After a moment of looking at him, Hermione spoke. "I've already made my choice, Harry. It's the same one I've been making since we met and it's one that I will always make."

Tears glossed her cheeks as the words flowed freely for the first time in years. It was everything she hadn't realized she had needed to say. She had always been in love with her best friend, but it wasn't until a short time ago that she realized it wasn't the one she'd initially thought.

"I choose you, Harry."

It wasn't a surprise when she found herself beneath him; legs wrapped around his hips. His lips were soft against hers as their mouths moved as one. Tears wet her skin, but she couldn't tell if they were his or hers. His hand was warm against her skin as it stole up the oversized shirt she always wore to bed. She moaned softly into his mouth as he cupped her breast and gave it a light squeeze, his thumb grazing over her nipple.

"Harry…" she breathed as he pulled away from her lips to kiss his way down her throat. "Harry, wait."

He went still for a moment before he pushed himself up on his elbow. His hand remained at her breast; his fingers twitching with the desire to continue. "I thought-"

"I want this, Harry," she rasped, nodding her head rapidly. "I want this more than anything, but I think we should talk to Ron and Ginny first."

He swallowed hard, the apple of his throat bobbing. He took a deep breath and let it out as a sigh before removing his hand from her skin and rolling onto his side. "You're right," he muttered.

"I know," she mumbled back, closing her eyes as she tried to put out the fire he had ignited in her gut. "I'm sorry."

He shook his head and turned it to face her. His hand sought hers between them and grasped it tightly. "Don't apologize, Hermione. Wanting to wait until we talk to them is the responsible thing to do."

"It won't hurt any less," she whispered, turning her head to give him a sad smile.

"No," he agreed, "But it would hurt more." He gave a small shrug. "At least this way you can honestly tell him you were never unfaithful."

She gave a light sigh, but nodded. "We should talk to them as soon as possible."

"Today?"

Hermione couldn't help the laughter that bubbled past her lips from the eager sound of Harry's voice. When she turned her head to look at him, he had a grin on his face; one that she hadn't seen in a very long time. "Today," she promised.

Knowing it was just a matter of time before they could truly be together and not just in stolen moments while on the run, Hermione couldn't wipe the smile from her face. There was still so much uncertainty as far as the future was concerned, but as she nestled herself back into Harry's embrace, she knew that together, they could take on whatever came their way.


End file.
